I'm not having a great day, it's gotta be said... and 140 characters just wasn't going to cut it this morning. I thought everyone could do with a laugh at my expense because to be honest, if this had happened to anyone else, I'd be laughing at them.
I was awoken by Aimee [my lovely, but sick wife] at 4am to go fetch her "clear pop that has sugar in it and a glass of ice" because she's spent the last 2 hours losing her insides from every possible exit and doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting down two flights of stairs to the basement without falling and breaking her neck. So I drag my ass out of the nice warm bed and down to a freezing cold basement to find the only thing we've got is Tonic Water... which she won't drink. Everything else we have is diet. Fabulous... well, Tonic Water will have to do.
The ice is frozen solid except for the snow in the bottom of the bag; I can't find an ice pick, the meat tenderizer is having no effect and I'm already shivering. I finally manage to break off a chunk that fits in the glass and take it and the Tonic Water up to her.
I fall asleep for what seems like 3 minutes and somehow it's already 6:45am. Charlotte [our 5 week old] has a poopy diaper which Aimee can't deal with without losing her cookies [those at least that she has left to lose], and Aimee's woken Olivia [our 18 month old] up to put her in the bath to get her ready for daycare... and she's already called her Mom to get her to come and help with Charlotte because she doesn't want to get her sick too. Her mum's already on her way over. Crap! I'm totally not ready to get out of bed yet - but because Olivia's in the bath and Aimee's mother's on her way over, I have no choice. Double crap!
I go to change Charlotte to find she doesn't have a poopy diaper at all, I change it anyway, whatever. I go back to the bathroom and turn on the shower to warm it up, I turn back around to find that Olivia's pooped in the bath. Great timing Olivia, perfect. We have to leave in 15 minutes and now not only am I not ready, but I have to bath you in the sink, clean and disinfect the tub and everything that was in it during the poo fiasco of 2010, have a shower, get dressed, get milk and a snack for the car ride, make sure I've got all my stuff for work, put out the recycling and get you strapped into your car seat. It's not looking promising...
I drag her out of the bath and wash her off in the sink and get her dressed and take her downstairs and go back upstairs to empty and disinfect the bath and take a shower. I get done in the shower and go down to grab Olivia to leave the house.
I'm a bit phlegmy because I'm sick and coughing too, which caused me to spend an extra 10 minutes in the bathroom praying to the porcelain gods. I get done with that and go to put Olivia in the car to find that she's got snot covering almost her entire face and is threatening to wipe it all down my work clothes. Gross.
I get her cleaned up and get her in the car to take her to day care and get in to find that I've got no gas left.
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